Life after childbirth- what they don’t tell you 

Finding out that you are going to have a baby, is probably one of thee most exciting news any parents/newly parents will ever receive. Then, your journey through pregnancy is just as exciting! (well, for some)..I know others to be the exact opposite. You know, morning sickness and all. But what I mean by exciting is, being able to feel your baby kick, decorating nursery, shopping for little baby clothes, anticipating the arrival of your little bundle of joy!

And then, there’s life AFTER you give birth. Or what others may call it, postpartum. I feel like there is very little information about what goes on after childbirth. I mean, yeah you need to go home and rest, drink lots of water, blah blah blah..but I wish someone had told me about half of the things I experienced following delivery because I tell ya, those things are not nice! lol- and because I have gone through and experienced both c-section and natural birth, I will share some pointers from both based on my own experiences.
* Ok, lets talk about maternity pads. These guys over here will become your new best friend for the next couple of weeks/months. And although they are totally uncomfortable, they are totally necessary because those nine months without a single period, will feel like someone finally opened the flood gates of doom. Also, invest on a good brand of maternity pads because not offence Middlemore Hospital, your pads was a tad bit zzzzzz for me.

* Your downstairs will be sore. And I mean S.O.R.E- especially if you tore or had an episiotomy to help bring baby out. What I found helpful was squatting and fanning down there lol- don’t ask me why but it worked for me haha..because you will need to pat dry after EVERY single pee to avoid infection, and the toilet paper just doesn’t do the job. Yes ladies! struggle is definitely real. Sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do to ease the pain lol- even if it means squatting over the toilet bowl like a freak. Plus, it actually feels nice down there soooo do what works for you! lol

* The after pains. This kind of pain was new to me as I did not experience it with my first baby. Apparently you only start to have it with your second and so forth. Who knew that when your stretched uterus starts to shrink down, it’s pure pain!! I found it so painful to turn from one side to the other when sleeping. It honestly felt like someone was holding on to the other half of my stomach as I turned. And because we have stairs at home, I thought it would be an excellent idea to go up and down. You know, get some exercise maybe it will speed up the recovery process. Ladies, BAD IDEA!! the following day, I felt like my guts was gonna fall out- so don’t do that at home.

* Your first wee. OH MY GOODNESS I was terrified to go bathroom for my first wee. The thought of getting stitched up down there and then having to wee was just petrifying. Especially when it stings! Ohhh it burns!! but don’t worry the pain only lasts for a split second til your next trip to the bathroom. Plus, your bits will still be able to do it’s job so don’t worry, it’s not all that bad.

* The first poop. The nurses will ask you if you have had any bowel movement or passing wind. You will feel pressure as you do so and it scared the heck outta me! But don’t panic, you are not having another baby. It may feel like it, but your’e not. It honestly feel like your stitches are gonna rip out open as you do your business. Just remember you just pushed out a human and the prospect of pushing out what’s in the back bit won’t be quite so daunting.

* Constipation. Oh myyyyy wasn’t this theee most uncomfortable/painful thing ever!!! You may or may not have it and embrace yourselves if you didn’t because yours truly went through hell with this one. After my birth via c-section, I dreaded going to the bathroom! My stitches were fresh off the boat and struggling to do a number two, felt like I was in war with someone else. I was sweating, shaking and getting really frustrated! lol- BUT it got better. Thank goodness! if you do have it, make sure you drink lots and lots of water, eat lots of fruits to help make the process ‘lighter’.

* First walk. My first walk after my c-section was just as painful as every other pain I’ve mentioned so far. For me, it felt like my insides were gonna fall out. I remember standing up for the first time and walking to the bathroom for a shower, it was brutal!! felt like I was learning how to walk all over again. And then you begin to feel nauseous, dizzy and everything seemed to be spinning around you. I stood there and held on to the bathroom rails for couple of minutes until everything seemed normal again. Don’t rush, take your time; it’ll get better! I promise.

* Sore nipples. If you are breastfeeding, good for you! it is the best way of providing your baby with the nutrients it needs and also it’s a process that develops a special bond between you and your baby. BUT it’s not all smooth and peachy when it comes to doing it. Both my babies were cluster feeding in the first couple of days and boyyyy did it hurt!!! My nipples became so sensitive and it was painful when showering especially when it touched the water. And then, once your breasts starts to produce milk, it will become full, firm, warm and perhaps tender. This is called ‘engorgement’ which in most cases, is completely normal. But this stuff is painful!!! My breasts became so full that it felt so heavy and felt like it was going to explode!! If you are experiencing this, apply some ice packs over the breasts to reduce the swelling, breastfeed regularly once your milk comes in to prevent over fullness aaaaand good luck! 🙂

* Dressing yourself. Yes, I know so simple yet so hard and painful! I had a hard time with this for both my babies. Having to get stitched up for both c-section and natural birth was so painful especially when it came to putting some clothes on! Your movements are limited and there are some parts you just can’t reach. It’s like all of a sudden your hands has become shorter in length and can’t reach what you want to dress! So frustrating I tell ya! But if you are having a hard time with this, ask your husband/partner/sibling or even your mom to give you a hand.

So there you go folks! Postpartum struggles is reeeeeeal. And in some cases, it can be serious. It can lead to depression so take good care of yourselves. I mean, isn’t labour and childbirth already painful enough? give yourself some credit because you are incredibly amazing!! you bought a little human into this life and that alone is a big achievement. I have so much respect for us mothers because motherhood is not easy. Treat yourselves here and there because you deserve it! You deserve it and so much more!

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Naule’o Choicey Pearl Nemaia- A birth story 

Ok, so did I tell you I was pregnant again? lol and yes I’m back AGAIN with another birth story! 
Sunday morning on the 6th of August 2017 at 2:03am, our second daughter was born. However, leading up to her birth; was not what I had imagined it to be. Because my previous pregnancy was via c-section, things were a little complicated and risky this time around. My estimated due date was 28th of July 2017. That date came and gone and next thing I know I was 1 week overdue. My plan was to hopefully have a natural birth and my chances of that was wearing thin as the day went by. On Friday the 4th of August, I was booked to be induced at Middlemore Hospital. We arrived at the hospital at 9am and started the induction straight away. 

Because of my previous c-section, the safest way to induce labour for me was the ‘foley bulb induction’. So basically what it is, it’s a procedure where the doctor insets a catheter into my cervix. Once inside, the doctor fills one end of the balloon with 60ml of saline solution and the other with 40ml. This helps to put pressure on my cervix and encourage dilation. After the procedure is done, the balloon is left there for 24hours and once I’m dilated to 3cm, it’ll pop right out! (I know right?!…likeeee what the heckkk?!!). Imagine having to walk around, sit, go to the bathroom with something stuck down there?! It was thee most uncomfortable thing ever! so of course, I was encouraged to walk around, so that the balloon will work it’s magic and eventually pop out on it’s own. And guess what? It didn’t pop out!! So I was stuck with that thing down there for 24 hours for pretty much nothing!! 

The following day, Saturday the 5th of August at 6.30pm, the doctor came and removed the catheter and broke my waters. Not long after that, I started to have some contractions. Finally!! We were getting somewhere!! We were then transferred to the birthing room and it was game on from there! I was so ready to have this baby!! 

By 10pm, the midwife gave me Pitocin which is a synthetic hormone oxytocin that helps produce contractions and it is slowly increased in levels until adequate contractions are produced. So which means, I was on it for 4 hours until I started to have 3-4 contractions every 10 minutes. My goodness! 4 hours felt like 40 years!!! I was having regular contractions and they were strong and painful. I was breathing through each contraction until it became unbearable to breathe no more..so I went from breathing to screaming lol- I requested for gas and air hoping it will take the edge of the pain away, which it did. Well, for a bit anyway. The pain of each contraction was making me tired and the gas and air was also making me dizzy. So, not a good combination lol- I was in so much pain that I remembered saying, “Please help me!” “Make it stop!” “Get her out!!”- The midwife gave me a dose of morphine to help with the pain. At first, I didn’t feel anything, the pain was still there. She gave me the second dose and I was able to get some rest. Don’t get me wrong, the pain was still there! But it made it that much easier to deal with it. I was taking each contraction as it came; until I felt this strange feeling that I needed to do a ‘poo’. The feeling became stronger and stronger as each contraction came; to the point where I felt this strong urge to push. At 1.30am the midwife checked to see how far I was dilated and to my despair, she said I was only dilated 7cm!! I wanted to die. Ok, a bit dramatic but you know what I mean! She then said we will check again at 3.00-4.30am. As soon as she said that, I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, my mom followed. I couldn’t lie on the bed for another hour and a half with that amount of pain.

I was telling my mom that I needed to push!! I have this feeling to push!! She kept telling me, “Ati, hold on you’re not ready yet”. We were in the bathroom for a good 10minutes until the feeling became stronger and stronger. I told my mom, “I can’t hold off this feeling anymore mom, I need to push now!!”. She held me up and started to walk me back to the bed. I took one step and the feeling to push came again. I stood there and screamed my life away as I pushed! I did 2 big push and next thing I know, the baby came out!! Luckily my Mom was behind me and was able to catch her before she landed on the floor. What a relief! All the pain went away just like that. 

I stood there in tears and couldn’t believe I did it. I gave birth naturally. They took me back to the bed and fixed me up. Due to the way I gave birth, baby came out with her umbilical cord detached, so the next step was to get my placenta out. I lost a lot of blood (1.8 litres) to be exact during birth, so everyone was busy trying to get myself back to normal lol- glad to say, everything is fine now and I am on my way to recovery.

That Sunday morning, we welcomed our daughter Naule’o Choicey Pearl Nemaia. She was named by my parents and what a beautiful little girl she is. I couldn’t have done it without the support of my husband and my mom. I love you guys!

To our sweet princess, we love you so much and we are beyond grateful you chose us to be your parents in this life. 

Lyca turns ONE

Where has the time gone? I can’t believe its been ONE year already! I can’t believe I’ve made it through motherhood for one year! and most importantly I can’t believe I have a ONE year old! lol- this very day last year at 3:41am Lyca was born. She has been a blessing to us and also to our families. 

Originally, I was planning to have a small BBQ at home with just close family and friends to celebrate Lyca’s birthday. But because the weather didn’t agree with our plans, we ended up having it at my father in law’s good friend’s restaurant. So, thank you so much David! And thinking back on it now, was I really gonna have a BBQ outside in the middle of winter?! (geeeez good one Ati ) lol- so I’m glad it all worked out at the end. 

I’m so grateful for family and friends who made Lyca’s birthday a success. I’m especially grateful that people took time out of their busy lives to come help celebrate Lyca’s birthday. There was no specific theme to the birthday, but all I know is that, the color ‘GOLD’ was a must! lol 

Special thanks to my good friend Steph for baking Lyca’s cake. It was absolutely beautiful and it tasted beautiful too! So if you are ever in need of a cake/cupcakes for your special occasion, she’s the one! Check her out on facebook (steph’s sugar shack) she’s officially back in business. 

Everything from food, decorations, music, games, party favors, lyca’s outfit was beautiful! so a big malo ‘aupito to those that made it possible. I love you guys! 

So now that’s over and done with, I can now concentrate on having this child! yes, I am pregnant again with baby number 2 but we’l save that for another post lol.

So to my sweet girl, happy first birthday! you have been such a blessing to us from the day you were born and I am so proud to be your mom. Your dad and I are grateful that you chose us to be your parents in this life and we couldn’t be more happy. 

I love you always. 

– Mom xx

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CASSIE ❤️

Today was the day I dreaded. Well, we all dreaded this day; but in saying so we knew what we did was the right thing. The right thing by Cassie anyways. 

It wasn’t until I started dating Dalvin that I met Cassie for the first time. If anyone knows me, they know that I am not the ‘animal lover type’. If it’s anything, I’m probably the last person anyone would come to for some animal tips or perhaps help them decide which puppy to get. However, Cassie was able to change all that. She was seriously the best family dog anyone could ask for. 

But let me tell you, oh boy is it hard taking care of them! Especially when they play such a big part in our lives, that they are pretty much considered family. When we go out for family dinners, we always made sure we bought something back for Cassie. I don’t know about you, but I haven’t seen or met any dog that eats steak or perhaps left over nando’s chicken. Yup! That was our Cassie. 

I’ve had my fair share of good and bad, (annoying) moments with Cassie. One of which I will always cherish is, going for our morning walks. She used to sleep upstairs on the couches (when she was a lot younger and could go up and down the stairs) and no matter how hard I try sneak out the door, she would beat me to the front door, bark, jump up and down; and then I had no choice but to take her with me. Those were good times! She always got a lot of attention on the road because she was big and fluffy. 

From the short amount of time I’ve known Cassie, I’ve been able to see her at her best and also at her worst. Time went by and she slowly couldn’t get herself up the stairs anymore, walking into things because she was blind. 

Seeing her slowly slip away was so heart breaking, and I’m glad I was there to see her take her last breath. 

Thank you for being the best family dog anyone could ever ask for. Thank you for allowing me to see animals in a different way. Thank you for being the only person I could talk to when Dalvin was being annoying. Thank you for keeping me company during my morning walks and last but not least, thank you for being my ever first real pet. You will be surely missed! 

Love you Cassie xx 

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Working vs Stay at home Mom

I used to get annoyed at my sisters for checking up on their babies 247 when we were out on a sisters date, hanging out with our girlfriends or simply just drive down the road to the shops. My sisters would always say to me, “just wait for your turn! you will know what we mean”. And yes, now that I am a mom, I know EXACTLY what they mean. In fact, I’m probably worse! lol- 

On valentines day, Dalvin and I decided to go out for dinner and leave Lyca with one of her aunties to babysit. Oh gosh, not even 1 minute out the driveway, I’m already on my phone asking how Lyca is doing. And that continued on throughout the entire night. Because we left really late, all the places we wanted to dine at, were either closing, packed or they didn’t take anymore reservations for the rest of the night. So, we ended up with good ol’ Carl’s Junior lol- I was kinda happy that we ended up here, because I really just wanted to hurry home to Lyca lol-  Funny how I was so quick to complain and moan about how annoying my sisters were and yet, I can’t even leave the house for one minute and I’m already THAT annoying person lol- oh motherhood! I just love you lol 

So imagine me going to work and leaving Lyca behind for almost the entire day?! I don’t think its fair that us parents have to choose to either go to work, or be a stay at home mom. Why can’t we do both? But hey, that’s life right? 

When I fell pregnant, I was currently working at the time. Money was great. I was able to help out my husband with whatever bills we had and still have extra to treat ourselves out for dinner. When I left on maternity leave, I knew that once my leave was up; I’d had to return back to work and find a babysitter for Lyca. I hated thinking about it. Soo, I just ignored the idea and didn’t give it much thought really. 

As time drew closer, Dalvin and I talked about the possibility of getting a babysitter and also talked about other options if we couldn’t find one. After giving it much thought, we both decided that it was best that I stayed from work permanently and look after our little Lyca. We only get to watch her grow once and for me to miss out on that, is pretty depressing. Also, It just so happened that my current job didn’t fall through so that further confirmed my decision to stay from work and be a stay at home mom. 

Upon deciding to be a stay at home mom, we were struggling. Living under one income is tough. Our options were limited and things were pretty hard; especially raising a baby at the same time. However, a friend of mine approached me via facebook and asked if I wanted to earn extra money whilst being at home with Lyca. At first I was sceptical, only because it just sounded too good to be true. I mean, to stay home and be with my daughter 247 AND earn income at the same time? whaaat?? lol that was the perfect dream! So I said yes. I said yes first not knowing what the heck I was getting myself into.

Today, I’m glad I made that choice. I’m glad I accepted and said yes. I’m not gonna lie, owning your own business is not all peachy, it’s tough. But what can be more entrepreneurial than parenting? lol. What I do requires time, effort, hard work and drive! In my first week, I earned just a little over $300 and I was stoked! I couldn’t believe that I was at home with my daughter and at the same time earn income. This opportunity has allowed me to help others earn the same income as myself and still be able to be a mom at home. Reaping the rewards of your hard work is so rewarding. I know there is still room for me to learn and grow in this business and I want to share that with everyone. 

I have come to know the goodness of earning money simply from the comfort of my own home and I know anyone can do it. What I love about this business is, I can work anywhere I want and anytime I want. I am so grateful that this business has provided me with the opportunity to raise up Lyca and still contribute financially to our growing family. If it’s anything I’ve learned throughout my journey thus far is, the reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more.

Ati xx